The Task Before Us

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Friends, as I take in what is happening in our world, my heart aches, tears stream from my eyes, and my soul cries out for change. 

In early-March, I took part in a ceremony that was one of the most intense I have ever experienced. During that night, I watched a movie play in my mind of the various atrocities happening in our world. 

I cried in agony and pleaded for an end to the suffering I was seeing. I heard myself saying over and over, “Spirit, please stop this madness.” and “Somebody, please stop this sh*t show!” That provided no relief and I found myself continuing to feel the pain of suffering. 

Later, I began asking Spirit to please help me make sense of things by seeing through the eyes of Spirit, hearing through the ears of Spirit, understanding with the mind of Spirit, and feeling with the heart of Spirit. 

In that ceremony, I could not quite get there, but I knew in my heart that seeing from Spirit’s perspective would help me gain a deeper understanding and a more grounded perspective.

Many days later, a thought popped into my head: “I need to stop the madness that I see before me. I can’t ask Spirit or somebody else to do it. I need to do it.”

From a shamanic perspective, we all are Spirit, and this world is a dream that we all are dreaming up together. We are co-creating our world through our thoughts, actions, and vibrations. 

When we have a thought of fear, we are adding fear to our world. When we have a thought of love, we are adding love to our world.

So, in order to change what we see, witness, and experience, we need to begin by dreaming a new dream and by changing the energies we put out into the world.

How do we do that? I believe there are many ways, and we can all contribute in the ways that are right for us. As I was reflecting on this question, I was reminded of a quote that I have loved and have had at the signature of my personal email for over ten years:

“A human being is part of a whole, called by us the "Universe," a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest—a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” ~ Albert Einstein

Reading it again reminded me of the task before us: To free ourselves from the prison of separation. The separation we perceive is the root of a great deal of the suffering we experience and witness in our world.

I believe this has always been our task, and the extent to which we are realizing it determines how much peace or pain we experience.

As I continued my reflection, some more wise words helped shape my thinking:

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” ~ Maya Angelou

I have never witnessed true and lasting transformation that did not come at a great price. Often the price is letting go of old ways of knowing and being. This can be incredibly challenging for us individually and as a collective, even when those ways have proven to be destructive.

A part of us is tremendously fearful of change, so it often fights us tooth and nail as we move towards something new, be it a new personal reality or the desire to build the more beautiful world our hearts know is possible (to borrow the words of Charles Eisenstein).

I know I am in good company when I say, “I am ready for a new dream. I am ready for the more beautiful world my heart not only knows is possible but knows is our destiny.” 

Moving towards this change will necessitate the dissolution and release of the old dream of fear, scarcity, hatred, and separation. Death of the old and birth of the new can be incredibly jarring and painful because of the resistance we put up as individuals and as a collective.

So, co-creating the new dream will take courage, perseverance, and mega doses of love and compassion…for ourselves, for each other, for all the beings we share this journey with, and for our dream of a better world.

On a personal level, I know this will require the inner work of facing and healing the delusions of separation and fear that I fall into. I also know it will require changing old patterns and behaviors that no longer serve me or the world.

The personal work also needs to be done on a societal level, so we can face the many injustices present in our world. And so we can come together in solidarity to support the efforts towards greater peace and justice for all.

As always, change can be daunting and messy. It often requires a breakdown of the old, so space can be made for new ways to be born. 

I take comfort in the fact that humanity has always experienced tremendous challenges before big breakthroughs were possible. On a personal and collective level, we have often had to hit a rock bottom before we have been able to heal and transform. 

As we navigate the times we live in, I invite us to remember that we are not alone on this journey. The truth is that each of us contributes to the whole whether we are conscious of it or not. When we are aware of this truth, we can be more conscious of how and what we contribute.

When we consciously choose to free ourselves from the prison of separation and practice widening our circle of compassion to include all beings and all of creation, we begin to transform our thoughts, our actions, our very presence. 

And, through transforming our thoughts, actions, and presence, we contribute to the transformation of our world. We co-create a new dream. We bring a new reality into existence. We give birth to a new self and a new world.

A Spiritual Perspective on This Time

Spiritual Journey

Friends, like you all, I have been searching my heart and seeking to make sense of this strange time we are living in. The journey of the last couple of months has been a bit of a roller coaster for me.

At first, I felt I was handling news of the virus pretty well. I felt grateful to be in good health and to be able to continue my work remotely by connecting with my clients by phone for healing sessions and with students via Zoom for sharing teachings.

Because I was in a good place personally, my focus was on finding ways to offer help and support to others. I did this by making contributions to organizations working on the front lines; by reaching out to my friends, family, clients, students, neighbors; and by coordinating a free healing circle for individuals to come together to receive support and to send love, prayers, and blessings to our world.

I pretty quickly accepted that I would need to shift some of my plans and change my life around. I had bought my retreat home in Julian back in December and had originally planned to host retreats here and rent it out for AirBnB when I was not facilitating healing gatherings.

I was already doubting the AirBnB part of the plan, and with the pandemic, that option was clearly off the table. So, I decided the only thing that made sense financially was to move and live here full-time. I didn’t rush but gave myself time to discuss my plans with friends and family and to meditate/pray on it.

I bought a new journal and began dreaming and visioning for myself and for our collective future. From a Shamanic perspective, this life is a dream. It’s a dream that we are co-creating with Spirit. And anytime we want to change our reality, we can begin dreaming a new dream.

So, “Dreaming a New Dream” became the theme of this time for me. I began to ask myself what kind of world I wanted to live in, what I wanted to look back on in my final days, what was really most important to me, what I wanted to give my life force energy to, what I wanted my day to day to look like going forward.

Thankfully, I was able to do a solo ceremony to honor the pilgrimage journey I was supposed to make in March to the sacred lands of the Huichol for my 5th year initiation and blessing. During this ceremony, I shed many tears of sorrow and grief for the ways my life and our world did not align with my values and dreams.

In that ceremony, I was given a lot of guidance on how to shift things to be in greater alignment with my heart’s truth. The essence of the wisdom can be summed into three words: SIMPLICITY, SUSTAINABILITY, and SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY.

These three values are very near and dear to my heart, but when I look at my life in recent years, I had strayed away from truly living in alignment with these values. Now, life was presenting me with a reality check and an opportunity to do things differently.

Initially, I was excited to make changes that would be help me live in greater alignment with my core values and in greater harmony and balance with the Earth. But when I actually made the first major decision to leave my condo in the city and move to Julian and began sorting through my things and packing them, I hit a wall of fear, doubt, indecision, sadness, and worry.

I worried about being alone and lonely. I feared the impact my move would have on my relationships. I wondered how this would impact my work. I got scared thinking of the cold winters. I was nervous my dog would get tick bites. I was sad to leave my neighbors and loved ones. 

At times I felt overwhelmed by all the things I needed to take care of and all the decisions I needed to make. “Who the hell moves in the middle of a pandemic?” I wondered to myself. The simplest of logistics seemed super complicated in a lockdown.

And truth be told, I thought of changing my mind a million times. Even once I got through the packing and had everything in my new home, I was tempted to run back several times. I would burst into tears as my emotions fluctuated.

Three things helped me navigate this: 1) Continuing my spiritual practices even when I could not feel the connection, peace, and joy they normally brought. 2) Surrendering and handing things over to Spirit again and again as I caught myself trying to figure things out with so many unknowns. 3) Being patient and not acting too hastily when the fears and doubts crept in.

Along the way, I had many moments of insight. One of them was that this is what a spiritual test feels like. The life I had known was upended not only by the reality of the pandemic but also by the changes I was making in my life. I knew that on a soul/essence level, I had made a decision to live through this time, but my human self was struggling with the reality and wondering what the purpose in it all was.

The stress of this time showed me where there were cracks in the spiritual foundation I had laid for my life. I was distressed for several days not only because of the emotional roller coaster and inner conflict I was experiencing, but also because of how disconnected I felt from my inner joy, the beauty all around me, and my connection to Spirit.

Then, one day, I realized that I was looking to external circumstances as the source of peace, comfort, and joy. A part of me wanted to run back to the safety of the life I had known because even though it had been upended, it was more familiar than a move to the mountains and all the changes that would bring. I was trying to make the right decisions, thinking if I chose the right circumstance, I would be ok and at peace. But I knew better. 

I had learned long ago that there is no perfect place, no perfect body size, no perfect job, no perfect relationship, no perfect amount of money, no perfect title that would bring about peace and happiness. I was being reminded that inner peace and joy are an inside job, and that if external circumstances could rob me of it, the foundation needed strengthening.

As I reflected on this, I remembered one of my favorite teachings that comes to my rescue again and again: “If it doesn’t feel good, it’s not of Spirit.” That was the moment the shift began for me. In that moment, I realized I was getting hooked by the fears and resistance of the ego. Even when our hearts and souls clearly call us towards change, the ego can put up a great fight.

It was at that point that I was able to really let go and embrace what was ahead even though I could not see it clearly. I was once again able to pray with a more open heart and really feel the truth and power of my prayers. My trust and faith returned. The allies who would assist me on this journey showed up. 

I felt connected to myself and Spirit once again. My joy came back. I was able to take in the beauty all around me. It was such a relief. And looking back, I was able to see that in addition to getting hooked by fears, I had been grieving all that I was leaving behind, and also that I had been feeling and navigating through the grief, sorrow, fear that’s in our collective consciousness at this time.

Sitting here a week after I felt I got back to my heart and soul, I am grateful for the spiritual  opportunity of this time. My heart breaks for all the pain and suffering that’s in our world. And I hope we can use this time to awaken to a higher level of individual and collective consciousness. 

Many of us are realizing that our old ways were full of unhealthy and unsustainable patterns and habits that took a toll on us, our relationships, and our planet. 

If we take this opportunity to really dig deep while some of our distractions are on pause, perhaps we will connect to our core values and begin making small or big changes that will soothe our souls, lighten our hearts, ease the stress on our bodies and minds, strengthen our relationships, and benefit the Earth.

Most all spiritual traditions encourage us to spend extended periods of time in solitude, meditation, and prayer. They invite us to pause the external activity and noise, so we can really connect to our hearts and spirits and to the Great Mystery that we are part of. 

Times of solitude can help us connect to Essence, Source, Love, and the Truth of who we really are and who we want to become. They can help strengthen our spiritual connection and accelerate our spiritual growth. 

While these times are painful and uncomfortable as we face inner demons and tough truths, the rewards of doing the deep spiritual work are immense. Just as our bodies grow stronger when we work out, our spirits grow stronger with spiritual tests, soul searching, and conscious renewal of our ways of being.

So, I invite us to see this time of change and challenge as both a spiritual test and an incredibly powerful spiritual opportunity, one that has the potential to permanently change the trajectory of our individual lives and our collective consciousness for the better.

Many blessings to you as you navigate this journey of learning and growth. If you have anything you’d like to share of your journey or comments on what I’ve shared, please don’t hesitate to email me.

With love and gratitude,

Parminder

Antidotes to Anxiety Series, Part 1

Anxiety Relief

Do you suffer from anxiety, worry, or ongoing fear? If so, you are not alone. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anxiety disorders affect 40 million adults (18% of the population) and 25% of teens (ages 13-18). Anxiety has become so prevalent, it seems as though we are living in an Age of Anxiety. 

More and more individuals come to me to get help in naturally healing anxiety and fear of all kinds. Some parents bring their teens and/or very young children who experience anxiety. The good news about anxiety is that for many individuals it can be healed and managed naturally. I have witnessed powerful transformations in my clients and students who adopt the antidotes I’ll be sharing with you.

I am no stranger to anxiety myself. I grew up watching my mom literally make herself sick with fear and worry. In seventh grade my science teacher gave me the gag “Worry Wort” award. Having come to the United States a few months shy of my 8th birthday and feeling totally lost because I didn’t know the language, I continually felt behind  and insecure in school.

As I grew older, school worries were replaced by worries about work, body image, and the state of world affairs. My first conscious attempt to free myself of fear, worry, and general suffering took place a couple of years after I graduated college. It was soon after I left a very intense job that was financially lucrative but spiritually and emotionally draining. 

As I sought to find a deeper connection to my heart and soul and a healthier alternative to the workaholic pace I had adopted after college, I discovered a Zen Buddhist Center in my neighborhood. I started going for meditation on Sundays in the hopes of learning how to meditate in order to relieve my suffering and to develop spiritually. 

I have always been a seeker and a student, so I was filled with questions. Zen is a beautiful and powerful tradition but not one that provided ready answers or relief for an anxious beginner’s mind. I was young and impatient, so after a few months of going weekly and continuing to wonder if I was “doing it right,” I veered off and turned my attention to other spiritual practices.

But eventually, I returned to meditation….again and again and again. Over two decades have passed since that first attempt to learn to meditate. In that time, I have tried many forms of meditation—Zen, Vipassana, Insight, guided visualizations, binaural beats recordings, meditation using rays of light—to name some.

All have been beneficial and all have played a part in shaping my current practice that is super simple, easy, and incredibly effective. In attempting to learn the different styles, I so often wondered is I was doing it right. This created some stress and resistance for me. 

Now, my practice is so simple that I no longer worry if I’m doing it right. And because it’s so simple and stress-free, I’m super consistent with it so have experienced great results from it and know it to be a very powerful and effective antidote to anxiety.

What’s my simple practice? It’s basically taking time at the start of my day to do nothing, just allowing myself to be in relaxed awareness. Here it is step by step:

  1. Wake up

  2. Set a timer for 21 minutes

  3. Sit in silence

  4. Notice my breathing

  5. As my mind wanders into thought, I simply take note and silently say, “Right here. Right now.” inviting my attention back to the present moment and my breath.

That’s it. There’s no magic mantra (not that I have anything against mantras…I know them to be very powerful). There’s no sophisticated technique or any process to memorize or master. It’s really just about doing nothing and observing myself simply be-ing. And it feels wonderful! I can’t think of any other way I would want to start my day.

Why 21 minutes? Just because. :) There’s no magic to that number. You can do 2 mins, 5 mins, 10, 30, or a whole hour or more if you like. 21 is simply a number I like. The time feels substantive enough for me to gain benefits but not so much that I have no time for my other morning practices. 

I didn’t start with 21 minutes when I decided to shift from a different practice I was doing. I decided to start off easy and work up to longer timeframes gently. I started with 5 minutes, progressed to 7, then 11, then 15, followed by 17, and finally 21. The progression was effortless, and 21 has stuck. I don’t feel the need to practice for a longer time period for now, and I’m continually impressed with all the benefits I gain from this small investment of time. 

Here are just some of the rewards of this simple practice of doing nothing and noticing my breath and thoughts in a relaxed way: 

  1. My mind functions at a significantly calmer state with this consistent practice.

  2. When fears, worries, or anxieties arise, I’m able to process them much more skillfully and gracefully.

  3. I have much greater awareness of the thought patterns that trip me up, and my ability to question my thoughts and not give negative thoughts too much power has gotten much stronger.

  4. I have a greater sense of personal power and mental clarity because energy is not being drained by anxious and fearful thoughts.

  5. All of these benefits result in much greater trust and confidence in my ability to navigate life’s joys and challenges.

These benefits accrue over time, but surprisingly little time when integrated with other practices I have developed. Over the course of the coming weeks, I’ll write about each of the practices in turn and invite you to try them out for yourself. If you have tried things like meditation and not had success, don’t be dissuaded. 

The key to developing a practice that we can sustain for a long time is experimenting with what works best for us. We don’t need to do our practice like anyone else. It’s best to adopt curious, non-judgemental stance and experiment with what works best for you with respect to time of day, style, place, etc.

For me, keeping the meditation practice super simple and bound to a daily preset but manageable timeframe, allows me to do it without resistance, thus ensuring greater consistency and better results/rewards. I find that when I make things complicated or bite off too much, I struggle to maintain a consistent and regular practice. So I invite you to keep it super simple and easy to start with.

If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to email me. And if you have any ideas for other Antidotes to Anxiety you’d like for me to write about, I’d love to hear from you. Big hugs and blessings to you.

No Salvation Without Sweat

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My annual trip to a small Peruvian village in the Amazon jungle is probably one of the most challenging things I do. It’s also one of the most enlightening and empowering things I do.

In a book I recently read, the author said that we too often look for “salvation without sweat.” That we are looking for quick fixes or magic bullets and get discouraged and sometimes give up when we realize we are going to have to work to change a habit or cultivate a new way of being.

There can be so much resistance from ego when we are seeking to grow spiritually and become more free of our habitual conditioning. One of the forms resistance takes is magical thinking. That somehow we are going to take part in something and it will easily and effortlessly transform our lives and make everything better.

Sometimes it can feel like that happens. But often there have been years of sweat equity leading to those kinds of sudden awakenings. When I experienced my magical transformation in January of 2010 (see How I Came to Be a Healer), there were not only hours and hours of meditation, yoga, prayer, learning and growing that preceded it, but there was even more work that was needed afterwards to learn to nurture that state of spiritual connection and heightened awareness.

I’m totally guilty of magical thinking. I have grandiose dreams and can get completely carried away by my fantasies. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I think having crazy, big dreams makes life fun and exciting. If I had known the reality of what I would have gotten into every time I tried something new that would push me to higher levels of growth, I likely would have shied away in fear.

When I decided to go to Peru for my first dieta, I really had no idea how challenging it would be. I am a total wuss when it comes to physical discomfort, and eight days in the jungle working with plant medicines involves a fair bit of physical discomfort. (To learn about what a dieta is, read Working with Plant Medicines in the Amazon.)

First, there’s the discomfort of being hot, sticky, sweaty, and a magnet for mosquitos. Then, there’s the discomfort of sleeping in a tent, using an outhouse and going without the comforts of nice bathrooms with clean running water/electricity. And there’s the discomfort of fasting 20-24 hours for seven consecutive days and also not having any water from 6am-3pm most days.

On top of that, there’s the physical discomfort of working with plant medicines in what essentially amounts to 10 ceremonies in 7 days. These plants are incredibly powerful, and they do a great job of clearing you out, which means you may purge through crying, shaking, vomiting, and/or diarrhea. Needless to say, the body gets put through a lot.

I went into this dieta with a fair bit of trepidation. My digestion was already off from all the travel I’d undertaken this year, and I came down with a bug a couple of weeks before my trip. Resistance was strong as I was getting ready, and a part of me seriously wanted to cancel my journey. But I moved through the resistance, made it to Peru, and am happy to say I got through the dieta better than I had anticipated.

Yes, all the discomforts listed above were present. Mid-way through the dieta, I woke up with terrible stomach pains at 3am one night, threw up at 4:30am, and then had the runs here and there. But I was in good company. Multiple participants talked of shitting their pants, and the sounds of violent vomiting were pretty intense during our second night-time ceremony. The jungle can be a tough place in many ways.

As if all of that weren’t enough, this type of work also has us facing all the hidden patterns, pains, and fears we keep ourselves so busy repressing and numbing. It’s quite humbling to face our darkest fears and our most painful wounds. To be brought to one’s knees in ceremony is incredibly challenging and amazingly rewarding.

The plants, in their infinite wisdom, have a way of breaking us down in order to build us up. So much gets cleared out and space is created for a deeper connection to Spirit, one’s heart, one’s true authentic self, and one’s dreams. So much wisdom and amazing insights are shared by the plants, who are referred to as Master Teachers.

In this dieta, I gained incredible insights about myself and my life as well as the spiritual reality of the world we live in. I received amazing support from spirit allies and was taught new techniques for healing and navigating ceremonial space. Once I was back, I slept 20 of the first 24 hours I was home. Not only was I recovering from the physical challenges, I was integrating all that I had gained from my journey.

I’m beginning to see personal and spiritual growth as a type of birthing process, one in which we give birth to a newer, more healed, whole, authentic, empowered versions of ourselves. Now that I have had an opportunity to transition to life back home, I can feel the strength and power of the plants working in and through me.

It’s amazing to see how much stronger I feel and what wild, crazy dreams I’m open to entertaining as real possibilities…things I would have never even allowed myself to fantasize about. That’s the magic of the plant medicine work for me…bit by bit, it sweeps aways more and more layers of fear and allows me to step towards greater possibilities and dreams.

So, once the memory of the excruciating labor that often is a part of spiritual initiation has passed, I am in total awe of the life, beauty, magic, miracle and possibilities it has given birth to. And I am in awe of and hold deep gratitude for the blessings the ceremonies and dietas with plant medicines bring. The process can definitely be sweaty beyond belief, but the salvation it leads to is so sweet.

If you would like to hear more about my journey, please join me for an Evening of Shamanic Wisdom at 6pm on Thursday, October 17th at Shamanic Soul Center. I will share stories and lessons from my journey, talk about Shipibo woven song cloths and icaros, answer questions about shamanism/shamanic practice, and guide you through a shamanic visualization journey. Simply email me to RSVP.

My Mantra for the Coming Year

Transforming Fear

Last week, I turned 44. In preparation for it, I embarked on a 44-Day Mental Cleanse, which included taking a break from social media, having boundaries around email and technology use, and slowing down to listen to my inner guidance instead of all the noise we get bombarded with.

Keeping with the cleanse theme, I decided I wanted to really clean house as I got ready for a new year of life. So the night before my birthday, I found myself cleaning my bathroom, reorganizing things in my kitchen, and moving furniture because I was having carpet cleaners come in the morning.

As I was listening to music while getting my home spruced up, the following words came to mind: “I can figure ANY shit out. No fear. Pure courage.” I suddenly felt a powerful surge of energy rush through me, and I went to write this down on the white board in my home office. This board has my top priorities on it, and I face it each day as I work at my desk. I wanted to make sure I didn’t forget what felt like an important motto for the coming year.

The next morning, I woke up early, did an energetic clearing of my home (see blog post on space clearing for how to do this yourself), vacuumed thoroughly, and had the carpet professionally deep cleaned. It felt so good to get a fresh, clean start to the year. Later, I went out for a celebratory meal, and then had a healing session with one of my teachers.

It was really such a blessing to get a healing session on my birthday, and during the session, she asked me one of my favorite question, “If you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you want to create in the coming year?” Before I could answer, she pointed out that this didn’t have to be something material or external. It could be something personal and internal.

The words “Unwavering Courage” came out of my mouth, and thus, my mantra for the coming year was set in motion.

To be honest, I’m a bit intimidated with this intention because I know it will mean potentially uncomfortable changes ahead. In my experience, when I set a firm intention and commit to it, a process of transformation gets set in motion, and I need to release what’s not in alignment with the new state I want to welcome in. This means I have to let go of old ways of being, which can be uncomfortable and challenging.

But I’m also very excited because I know it will mean a new level of personal growth and self-realization. I know it will mean a new level of TRUST, especially trust in myself. During my 44-day cleanse, I became acutely aware of how much we are bombarded by messages of fear. These messages have us question our abilities, our worth, and our choices.

In stepping into this mantra of “Unwavering Courage,” I don’t have any plans to do anything dramatic or daredevil-like. My intention is to continually move away from the external noise and messages of fear, and instead, listen to my heart and soul and come to trust myself more deeply.

Trust that I am strong and capable. Trust that no matter what, I can figure anything out. Trust that though I can’t control what happens around me, I can handle the surprises life brings. Trust that I can make the choices that are best for me even if they are different from the “norm.” Trust my body, my intuition, my heart, my spirit, my soul.

With this deep trust, I believe courage comes more naturally. When we trust ourselves, we can take greater risks. We can make decisions from a place of inner knowing and authentic truth instead of a place of fear. We can let go of patterns and energies that don’t serve us and provide a false sense of comfort/security. We can dare to live lives true to our essence dreams and heart’s longings.

Just writing that makes my heart sing! If any of this resonates with you, and you’d like to share any aspect of your journey and/or intentions with me, or if you have any questions, I invite you to email me at heal@shamanicsoulcenter.com.

I’m excited to see what the coming year brings and feel so blessed to share the journey with you. Thank you for being part of the Shamanic Soul Center community.

Big hugs and blessings to you,

Parminder

5 Ways to Boost Your Happiness

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Are you one of those people who was born happy? Do you just sail through life naturally feeling happy and blessed? If so, this blog post is not for you. You don’t really need it.

If, on the other hand, you have longed to feel happy but all too often find yourself struggling to do so, read on.

You see, I’m not one of those born happy and cheery people. Quite the opposite. For much of my life, I would experience cyclical bouts of depression and/or anxiety.

And although I definitely experienced many times of joy during my life, it was not until late into my 30’s after some years of being on this healing path that I can say I became more consistently content and experienced a higher baseline of happiness.

There are two things that have helped me increase my overall sense of joy: 1) releasing trauma, pain, and suffering through the healing work I have done 2) cultivating thought patterns and behaviors that enhance my state of well-being and happiness.

These practices and the awareness I gained through the process took time to learn. They feel natural and effortless much of the time, but there are still (and always will be) times I need to pick myself up from a low mood and put greater focus and attention on cultivating a higher frequency, better feeling state of being.

Because I am not alone in this, I wanted to share one of the resources I find helpful on this quest. It’s a hilarious and helpful talk by Shawn Achor (watch below). In the talk, he shares 5 simple ways we can train our brains for greater happiness.

The techniques are simple and make sense. But for them to be effective, it’s important to actually do them and not simply know about them. He recommends trying them out for 21 days.

If you decide to give the practices a go, be honest and gentle with yourself. You know yourself better than anyone, so explore the techniques in the way that is likely to be most effective for you.

You know if you’re more likely to sustain something for the long-haul by going full force and doing it all at once or whether it would be more effective to integrate one small change at a time. So, do what works best for you and let me know how it goes by emailing me.

I hope you enjoy the video and practices. Big hugs and blessings to you, :)

Parminder

An Antidote to Stressful Living

Antidote to Stress

I recently returned from a week in Costa Rica, the land of Pura Vida, a relaxed, “don’t worry, be happy” way of life that has made Costa Rica one of the happiest countries in the world. 

Having this trip come so close on the heels of my journey to Peru’s Lake Titicaca and the Stone Forest was a true blessing. Some of you may have read my post-Peru reflections in my AYNI blog post in which I shared how the trip inspired me to slow down and live more mindfully.

My recent journey to Costa Rica built on that theme and gave me an opportunity to step back and consider ways I can live life with greater ease and grace, to integrate some of that Pura Vida vibe into my life.

Coming back to city life in the US after each of these journeys made me realize what a fast-paced, anxious world we have created. They also made me see how easy it is to get caught up in those stressful energies even if we know we value a more simple, healthy way of life. 

But I have come to see that we don’t have to get caught up in the mad rush to always be doing more. We can opt out of the frantic pace in ways big and small. 

Because prolonged stress contributes to many forms of dis-ease, it is important for us to look at how we can reduce stress and live life with greater ease. This is extra important for those of us with more sensitive, empathic natures. 

If we are highly sensitive or empathic, we are more attuned to and more easily influenced by the energies around us. Therefore, it’s important to create personal boundaries that protect our internal state and enhance our well-being. 

Here are two books that I have found to be inspiring and helpful in living life at a more relaxed, sane pace. While their titles have a similar theme, the two books present very different approaches:

I first read Slowing Down to the Speed of Life when I was in my early 20’s. I was only a few months into my first job out of college and found myself overworking and feeling incredibly stressed. At the time, I found the ideas presented in the book very helpful and comforting.

Since then, I have read the book several times. Each time, I gain a better understanding of how profoundly out thoughts impact our perceptions of our world. This book is not about fixing anything on the outside; it’s about becoming aware of thought patterns that lead to stress and unhappiness.

SLOW: Simple Living for a Frantic World is new to me. It’s about one woman’s journey to change her life after being diagnosed with postpartum depression.

After seeking help for her depression, the author comes to the realization that her hectic lifestyle was contributing to her ill health. This book offers many ideas on how to simplify one’s life and live more true to one’s values.

I believe we all deserve to live lives full of love, laughter, joy, and ease. And I feel it’s within our power to transform our internal state and our external realities to create the lives that will make our hearts sing. 

If these ideas resonate with you, I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to email me with any questions, comments, or to share any of your personal experiences. Big hugs and blessings to you. 

AYNI - a Key Insight from My Recent Journey to Peru

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Being on the Shamanic Path has given me the opportunity to experience many adventures and learn a great deal. My recent trip to Lake Titicaca and the Stone Forest definitely ranks up there in terms of the magic and wonder I experienced. As you may have read in my last blog post (Shamanic Journeying for Guidance and Support), I was guided to go to the Stone Forest during a Shamanic Drum Journey I did last year.

I didn’t know exactly why I was told to go there, and it may take me quite a while to integrate the blessings and wisdom from such a powerful journey, but I am incredibly grateful for the way the experience has served to bring me to a deeper level of soul-searching and an even stronger desire to align my life with the spiritual values I hold most dear.

I first awoke to this spiritual path through an incredibly transformative spontaneous healing I experienced in January of 2010 while I was getting a Masters degree in Peace and Justice Studies. (I wrote about it in How I Came to Be a Healer.) I went back to school because I felt disillusioned by the educational system I was a teacher in and wanted a new way to be of service. 

My goal at the time was to gain skills to be able to do work in developing countries. I grew up in a very poor, rural environment in India, which provided me with many blessings but also many hardships. Lack of basic human needs such as medical care and personal security can take a tremendous toll on the heart and psyche. Those early experiences evoked in me a lifelong desire to alleviate suffering and be of service.

One of the classes I took while I was at the School of Peace Studies was Environmental Justice. It was quite disheartening to learn so much about the environmental and human consequences of our modern way of life. The class and the research on consumerism I did for my final paper affirmed a longing in me to live a more simple and sustainable lifestyle.

Given my simple upbringing, my heart has always been drawn to simplicity, but living in the modern Western world, I find that I easily get distracted and/or excited by things and ideas and end up piling too much on my plate. I can get caught in the mad dash of modern life and fill my life with too much stuff and too many things to do. And I can find myself going on automatic instead of being mindful and present to all the beautiful, simple moments of ordinary life.

Being at Lake Titicaca and the Stone Forest reminded me of the incredible beauty of this magnificent Earth we call home. It got me back in touch with my deep love for this planet and my desire to live in a way that honors the precious gift we have been blessed with. I was reminded of the sacred law of AYNI, something I learned about years ago.

Ayni is a Quechua (an indigenous language spoken in the Andes) word that refers to the sacred reciprocity that is the natural way of life. For the Q’ero people of the Andes, this is the most fundamental law. It guides us to live in reciprocity, harmony, and balance with each other, with the Earth, and with the whole cosmos.

Shamanism recognizes that we are all interconnected in a beautiful, sacred web of life/energy. And our actions have consequences for the positive or negative on ourselves, each other, and the whole Universe we are a part of. When we practice ayni, we strive to live in mutual harmony and reciprocity with all beings.

We don’t take anything from the Earth without asking permission and making an offering in exchange. I was taught this by the first Indigenous healer I studied with. He would say, you can’t just go around traipsing wherever you like. You have to ask permission of the spirits of the land. You have to ask them for protection. You have to bring them an offering. Just like you would if you were going to someone’s home. You wouldn’t just barge in rudely and not ask permission or give thanks.

I have been practicing this way for a long time now. It feels beautiful to ask permission of the lands I am visiting, to take little offerings of cornmeal, sage, tobacco, sweets, flowers to give thanks. And in my morning prayers, I give thanks for the spirits of the land where my home is. I thank them for welcoming me there and for their protection.

This trip reawakened in me a longing to integrate the teaching of ayni more deeply into my day to day life. I can do this by slowing down my thinking and living more mindfully. I can pay greater attention to the impact my words and actions have on the world. I can think of how what I do today will impact the next 7 generations.

I can do very simple things to consume and waste less, to send more loving-kindness and gratitude to the Earth, to simplify my life more by being a more conscious and thoughtful consumer, to care for and bless this beautiful planet and all the beings I get to share it with. I can be more intentional about remembering what a sacred gift life on the Earth plane is and take more time to appreciate it.

I feel a greater sense of peace and serenity since I have come back from my trip, and I think that comes from making progress in aligning my life even more closely to my most cherished values. I believe that is one of the blessings of striving to live in ayni. It reminds us we are part of a beautiful, interconnected whole. Simply remembering and honoring that sacred connection brings a sense of peace and well-being to our hearts and souls.

(The photo above is of the paqo (Andean shaman) beginning a ceremony. At the start of all ceremonies, he would give thanks to all the nature elements (Earth, Sun, Moon, Spirits of the Mountains, etc.) and call on them to bless the ceremony.)